


Don't Look (It Burns)

by marigoldmonster



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst, Codependency, Delayed Canon, F/M, Female Sawada Tsunayoshi, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Not Beta Read, References to Depression, Rule 63, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 19:43:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11020260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marigoldmonster/pseuds/marigoldmonster
Summary: Tsuna was a little broken, but that was okay because she had Takeshi with her. They would shatter together, pick up the pieces, and fit them together as best they could and as often as they had to. It wasn't the greatest relationship in the world, but it wastheirs. And Tsuna was reluctant to let some freaky baby in a fancy suit try to change the best thing that ever happened to her.





	Don't Look (It Burns)

**Author's Note:**

> This is me ignoring my other works and trying my hand at that whole 'discord' thing the khr fandom seems to like so much. I haven't actually read the series in a long while so I'm pretty rusty on how the entire flame system works as my other stories don't deal with it, but I tried my best as someone who adamantly didn't want to do any research for something that shouldn't grow to be too large. 
> 
> As always, this isn't beta read (or even proof read by me), so I apologize for my shit grammar and my lack of verb tense skills. Also, there's a double negative lurking somewhere in here that drove me absolutely nuts, but I'm too dumb and lazy to figure out how to fix it!

She and Takeshi were considered to be together, she guessed.

They ate lunch together at school sometimes, and he made sure that people didn’t bother her when she wanted to avoid everyone and everything. They spent at least two afternoons together a week and texted each other almost constantly when they weren’t. They’d kissed a few times – Takeshi being her first even if she wasn’t his, and sometimes, when one of them felt especially bad, he’d spend the night at her house, curled tight around her as if he was afraid she’d run away the minute he shut his eyes.

They had never actually talked about it, but it was special, what they had.

Of course, Tsuna knew if she ever said as much aloud, people would scoff and point out that she was just a teenager – what would she know of love?

Not that Tsuna meant to imply that she loved Takeshi, except that she did, but not really because it wasn’t _that_ kind of love. At least, she doubted that it was. Like the adults would say, what would she know of love?

But she does know that if Takeshi disappeared, she’d probably sink and drown from the loss of him. She’d like to say that she hopes it’s the same for him, but she doesn’t because _what a horrible thing to wish for_. Even so, she can’t help what she wants. She’s only human, after all.

Watching him as he interacts with his team is something of a daily thing for her. It’s a good way to measure his mood – how tense his shoulders are, how fake his smile is, how dead his eyes look – and Tsuna has sort of made it her business to know when he pushes himself too far.

She didn’t want a repeat of their first year, after all, even if that was how they became so close.

The sun had made its way across the sky and was slowly sinking past the horizon, and Tsuna knew that practice would be winding down soon. Normally it would go on well past dark, stadium lights blinding any who dared look up, but testing week was coming up soon. Namimori was notoriously strict with its curfew, and absolutely no one wanted the Disciplinary Committee on their backs for not obeying.

Tsuna spotted Takeshi among the pack of boys finishing up their laps, a furrow between his brows and a slight grimace on his face. She resisted the urge to sigh and waved a hand in greeting with a quick wiggle of her fingers. It resulted in a small grin shot her way as they ran in front of the bleachers she was sitting on, separated by a chain link fence from the field, and Tsuna quirked her lips in return even though he had already passed.

It looked like today had been a good enough day for the both of them. She was glad.

The piercing shriek of a whistle drew her attention towards the coach of the baseball team, who stood surrounded by his players with a clipboard in his hands. There was some indistinct talking that ended with a resounding “ _yes, coach!”_ from the boys before they were presumably dismissed.

Sure enough, Takeshi jogged his way towards her, waving off a teammate laughingly, and stopped at the fence that separated them. Tsuna got up, brushing off the back of her skirt and carefully making her way down the precarious bleacher steps to meet up with him behind the home plate. He curled his fingers around the wire and grinned, sweat dripping from his hairline, and Tsuna was helpless but to grin back and curl her own fingers through the fence.

The good days were always her favorite.

They made her feel like a regular teenager instead of some maelstrom of negativity and bitterness. Smiles and laughter were quick to come and go, never wandering far, and being with Takeshi on good days always made up for all the bad days they spent together. The affection between them seemed light and sweet, almost like cotton candy, compared to the careful weight and pressure of the bad days. The kisses were small pecks across cheeks and foreheads instead of needy, painful, _desperate_ , and the time they spent together always seemed like a scene straight from some sort of sappy _shoujo-manga._

Her and Takeshi just stood there, grinning like idiots at one another, before a call from the dugout has Takeshi’s head snapping to the side to yell out a response. He turns back to grin at her one more time, “I’ll be right out, I promise.” He moves his hands to wrap around her own for a moment before he’s gone, the 01 on his back shifting with the movement of his arms.

 _Yes,_ Tsuna thinks as she watches him go, _today is going to be a good day._

Of course, Tsuna should know better by now than to tempt fate.

After Takeshi changes, they leave the school grounds together, putting up with minimal ribbing from the rest of the team. Only one of them dared to call her _dame_ in front of Takeshi, but it was said with a kind of teasing fondness that Tsuna has become more accustomed to in the past couple years. The captain of the team pat her head as he said it, as if they weren’t in the same grade, and Takeshi let it go with a warning look as he tugged her closer to him and away from the others. It was almost endearing how he tried to protect her even from the people she didn’t need it from.

They separated from most of the group at the cross-section, taking the right towards downtown instead of a left towards the residential area. The two boys who came with them were like Takeshi, with families who lived above their businesses, and the chatter of the boys lulled her into a small daze. She was unbearably fond of Takeshi, but she could only take so much baseball in a single day.

Takeshi's laughter as he threw an arm around her shoulders had her smiling and tuning in to pay attention just in time to wave goodbye to the others. She and Takeshi veered towards the arcade in the newer part of town, huddled close together with their ridiculous grins back on their faces.

An hour wasted at the arcade with nothing to show for it but a handful of tickets exchanged for a pair of matching erasers and a plastic yo-yo passed quickly, and Tsuna had more pictures of them on her phone than she knew what to do with. Since they were closer to his house, they decided to eat at his father’s restaurant – tucked away in the corner furthest from the door and sharing a small platter of sushi Takeshi made himself.

A text from her mom asking her to come home ended their little date, and Tsuna made sure to smile nicely when she thanked the older Yamamoto, just like her mother taught her to. With her hand clasped in Takeshi’s own, they backtracked to the residential side of Namimori, passing by the middle school cautiously in case of any lingering Committee members. They hadn’t broken the curfew just yet, but they were cutting it dangerously close as the clock ticked closer to eight. They made it in front of the Sawada house with just enough time to spare for Takeshi to get home on time if he hurried, and yet, they lingered.

Tsuna leaned into the warmth of Takeshi’s side as she fiddled with the small baseball eraser from the arcade. It was cute, she guessed, Takeshi having been the one to pick it out, of course, and she just couldn’t say no to his ecstatic smile. A kiss was pressed to the crown of her head, and Tsuna leaned up to nuzzle his neck.

“You have to leave soon if you want to make it back in time,” she reminded him, reluctantly untangling herself from him. A small whine was his response as he pulled her back to him, pressing his chin into her hair, “Don’t wanna.”

Tsuna couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her as she wriggled out of his grip again, “That’s just too bad because you have no choice. You don’t want Hibari to find you, do you?” The slight tightening of his grip and the contemplating hum made her laugh even harder, and she didn’t have to see his face to know he had that look in his eyes.

“You’re crazy, you know. He’d kill you!”

“Your faith in me is appreciated,” Takeshi responded, pressing another kiss to her hair before letting her go. Tsuna turned around to shoot him a fond glare before reaching up on her tippy-toes to press her own kiss to his cheek.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Tsuna murmured before turning on her heel to jog up the walkway. Once she reached the door, she peeked back to see him still standing there with that idiotic grin back on his face and waved. He waved back immediately, and Tsuna opened the door, the light from the kitchen illuminating the porch. She waited until Takeshi turned to leave before slipping inside, her cheeks hurting from smiling almost nonstop.

“Mom, I’m home!” she called out into the house, heading towards the stairs to put her school bag away. There was a quick rustle of movement in the kitchen, and Tsuna paused, slightly worried.

“Oh, Tsuna, baby, if you could wait a moment before you go upstairs and come here? Mama has a surprise for you,” she sang out, her voice light and lilting. Tsuna cautiously made her way to the kitchen, half dreading to find her father sitting at the table.

It wasn’t, and Tsuna pushed away the small pang of disappointment that had no business existing. Instead, she focused on the infant sitting on a pile of phonebooks sipping out of a tea-cup like nothing was weird about it. But it was weird. Very weird. Tsuna looked at her mom in disbelief and was met with a bright smile and her own cup of tea. She carefully accepted it, and her mother motioned for her to take a seat at the table. Across from the baby.

“Mom?” she asked, eyeing the expensive looking suit and the small, green lizard perched on the boy’s fedora. Her mother hummed in response from where she was fixing up a plate of pastries, not even looking up to see her daughter’s mild panic.

“Did you steal a baby?” she asked, a little scared of it being true. Her mom had always been a bit strange, but this was weirder than usual.

“Of course not, dear! This is Reborn – he’ll be staying with us for a while!” her mom laughed, twirling around to place the plate in the center of the table. The baby immediately reached out to grab a glazed donut, and Tsuna thought it was a bit odd how he didn’t immediately go for the chocolate covered ones.

Tsuna sipped at her tea as she eyed the baby eat its pastry. It was surprisingly clean about it, not a single crumb spilling, and Tsuna found herself actually sort of envious. The baby finished it’s treat and drank the last of its tea before holding its cup out towards her.

Tsuna took the cup with a forced smile and asked in a bright voice, “Would you like some more tea, Reborn?”

“Coffee, actually, Dame-Tsuna.”

Tsuna froze, her grip on the tea cup painful, at the sound of that squeaky voice saying _that_ word in such a tone.

“Now, Reborn, that wasn’t very nice,” her mother chided, prying the cup from Tsuna’s hand and actually refilling it with coffee, “Tsuna may not be the _best_ at anything, but she’s certainly not no good!”

The baby didn’t look remorseful at all, “Ah, of course. My apologies, Mrs. Sawada.”

“Oh, dear, no need for the formality - just call me Nana!” her mom giggled, placing the fresh cup of coffee in front of the baby like it was no big deal at all to be feeding an infant caffeine even though Tsuna was pretty sure that wasn’t good for it.

“My thanks, _maman,_ ” the squeaky-voiced, beady eyed, little monster responded, “I would like to speak to Tsuna, now, if that’s alright with you.” Tsuna’s mother just giggled again and twirled away to do whatever it was she did in her free time after singing out an affirmative.

Tsuna shot a betrayed look at her mom’s back, itching to book it to her room and lock herself away until she could leave to meet up with Takeshi in the morning

“Don’t even try it, Dame-Tsuna,” Reborn said, his coffee already gone, “I’d easily find a way in. There’s no escaping this conversation.”

Tsuna suppressed a shiver. She knew that there was no way the baby was normal, but this was beyond bizarre. She crossed her arms in front of her in some hope of protection, fingers pulling anxiously at a loose thread on her school sweater. Surely whatever the freaky baby had to say couldn’t be that bad?

_

Reborn was – concerned.

He had known that the Sawada girl had some “reoccurring issues”, as her father liked to put it, and that she had befriended the Yamamoto boy over their shared “issues”, if you would, but he hadn’t thought that their bond would have spiraled so quickly.

Their flames were leaking and twirling towards one another so heavily that Reborn could practically taste them on the back of his tongue. While normally he would have been glad to see that she already had a guardian bond with someone of such a pedigree, the sickly taint of discord colored the edges of their flames, and Reborn felt nausea roil uneasily in his gut.

This was not good. In fact, it was very, very bad.

He wouldn’t be able to introduce her to any new potential guardians until this was taken care of, and that could take _years._ And Reborn didn’t have years to waste on something as delicate and dangerous as a sky in discord – he wasn’t even qualified to deal with it. But because of circumstances, he would probably be all the help this girl would get for now, and he had _maybe_ a single year before everything was guaranteed to go to shit.

The girl had reacted almost exactly the way he had expected her to when it came to the news of the Vongola and that idiot Iemitsu, that being, loudly and in denial, but the second he brought up the Yamamoto boy, she practically shut down. It was disconcerting to see her go from almost always in motion to near catatonic, but he supposed that’s what such a bond would do, especially since he had suggested breaking it entirely.

He’d admit that he should have done more research and reconnaissance before throwing out such an idea – to see just how damaged her flames were and just how deep the bond went – but he couldn’t help the niggling curiosity. He wasn’t a scientist – he would never be a scientist – but he _was_ a mathematician. And what was science but applied mathematics? Not that there had been much math involved in making his new student break down into what he assumed to be a panic attack.

The sight of her rigid on the floor and pressed back into a corner was pathetic, even more so with her hand pressed tightly against her mouth as tears leaked from unseeing eyes. It was unseemly and so very _civilian_ that Reborn restrained himself from taking out his gun and waving it around like he had with Dino. He really should attempt to snap her out of it, but again, his curiosity got a hold of him. She was turning a bit blue in the face, and he wondered if she would actually knock herself out from lack of air. Soon enough, her eyelids started drooping and her body began leaning to slump against the cabinets, but she jerked awake with a gasp almost immediately followed by a pounding on the door.

_“Tsuna!”_

It seemed as though the Yamamoto boy had come back. Reborn watched with a raised brow as Tsuna scrambled up from her position on the floor, banging her elbows and knees in the process, and running towards the front door with a desperate look on her face. Her flames were flaring violently, reaching towards the responding rain flames outside, and Reborn had to look away from the sickening sight.

He heard the door open and the broken sob the girl let out. The Yamamoto boy was asking questions at a rapid-fire pace, but a keening whine of his name thankfully made him shut up. Reborn already had a headache, and it was only his first day on the job. That didn't bode well for the rest of his assignment. The hitching sobs eventually stopped, followed by the soft whispers of what Reborn assumed were reassurances, and he deigned to make his way to the foyer.

Civilian children are so soft, he mused while taking in the sight before him. The Sawada girl was knocked out in the Yamamoto boy’s arms, the pair of them curled defensively towards one another. Their flames, which shouldn’t have even been active, were turbulent and near violent – blue and orange meshing with the taint of discord ever present at the edges.

The Yamamoto boy curled even more around the girl, if that was possible, and bared his teeth in some mockery of a snarl. Reborn was begrudgingly impressed – not many would have registered him as a threat in this body. But even so, a teenage boy was of no issue to him, and the only reason Reborn would bother with him was because of his attachment to the girl. Reborn stepped closer, ignoring the need to shiver at the feel of those disgusting flames, and couldn’t help but to feel amused at the boy’s hackles raising, his shoulders bunching up as he pressed the girl even closer to him.

“What did you _do_?” the boy snapped, more a demand than a question. Reborn internally debated with himself in what he should answer. He owed nothing to the brat – to _either_ of the brats – and didn’t have to tell him anything if he didn’t want to, but perhaps putting in this one’s head how his unhealthy attachment to the girl was hurting her would speed the entire process along?

The result of him pulling away – as Reborn figured he probably would – could possibly throw the boy into discord entirely on his own, but the girl would be spared, if a little more damaged. And the girl was his charge in this, on his promise to the Ninth. What was one boy’s death in the future of the Vongola? The boy dying would hopefully even toughen the girl up some. With that in mind, Reborn made his decision.

“I only told her the truth, but Tsuna has decided to ignore it and hurt herself out of her feelings for you, Yamamoto Takeshi,” Reborn watched the emotions shutter across the boy's face and felt absolutely no remorse. "This happened because of you."

**Author's Note:**

> I got distracted from my X series to write another dysfunctional fem!Tsuna, as you can see. This story will alternate between Tsuna and Reborn povs if I decide to actually continue. I feel like I could possibly leave it as is and just let the readers' imaginations fill in whatever they want, but we'll see.
> 
> Also! Half way through this, I really wanted to switch it back to canon!Tsuna instead of fem!Tsuna so my brain did a thing, and I maybe have plans to write a companion piece of sorts in Yamamoto's pov with the same general plot and relationship but with a male!Tsuna??


End file.
